"I Take a Word...and it becomes a thought...and then my thought becomes a story..."
Sunday, October 27, 2013
The Many Voices of Music...
Discovering the many voices of music in our wo4ld is like delving into the spirit of discovery through the eyes of every author who has put pen to paper to express their thoughts and tell their stories.
I grew up with music in my home. My mother loved to listen to her favorite music station on the radio. Most of the time she would sing along, singing every single word by memory. It was from her that I gained a deep appreciation for music. She was my springboard to the music world. (She also gave me other worlds to explore, but those will be saved for another day and other writings.)
My introduction to music was through the Big Band Era--Tommy Dorsey, Glen Miller and others. Bing Crosby was my mother's favorite singer, as well as Dean Martin and Perry Como. Mom loved the "crooners," (but she did not like Frank Sinatra!) In later years she grew to love Inglebert Humperdink and Alan Jackson--quite diverse for her.
In my teen years, I was introduced to Jazz via my brother, Darell. I loved the sound of it with all of its intricate variations and drifts from the melody line through major and minor keys. When he was on his Mission in Switzerland and Austria, he left his stereo at home, as well as all of his LP's. I played them over and over and was comforted by his music. It kept him close.
I took piano lessons for many years and loved to play the popular as well as classical pieces Mrs. Marshall would find for me. I still sit down and play those good old songs. There is a great surge of emotion flowing through from the brain to the fingertips as I play the songs of yesteryear!
As I grew older and music genres began changing, I drifted for a season into both Rock and Country music. An odd mix, I know, but I found in both, messages that spoke to my inner experience. And it is the inner experience that draws us to the music we learn to love. All over the world, that same inner experience makes both the performer and the listener draw closer to each other. From the Indian bells and stringed instruments, to the African drums and dances, to the sounds of the music in the Alps, to the tambourines of the energetic Spanish dancers or the strumming of their romantic guitars--music unites all of us.
New Age music brought a whole new experience into my life. I worked in the Music Department as a stenographer at the University of Illinois in the '60's and heard one of the very first synthesizers that was being developed by one of the students in his lab. I began to view the world through the eyes of the mystical or "out of the box" musician--sometimes extremely happy and energetic--sometimes dark and melancholy.
I have to confess, there is one genre of music I cannot wrap my arms around personally, and that is Rap. But, like all other expressions of music, it expresses a multitude of feelings experienced by its writer and it has its place in our music culture.
In my waning years, the music that touches that deep, inner space inside of me is the sacred music of the Gospel. Hilary Weeks, The Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Paul Cardell and others are a few of my favorites. I relax and feel closer to my Heavenly Father when I can play or sing a sacred hymn. Or I can be moved to tears when I hear a Patriotic tune.
I have a son who has given his life to music. And I respect his choices. I have watched his life's story unfold through his expressions in his music. I have witnessed first-hand the growth from little boy Rock Star to his endless variety of expressions on guitar, piano, clarinet, drums, ukulele, and his ultimate love, cello.
Billy was born with music inside of him and it was only a matter of time before it bubbled to the top to express itself. He is not selfish with his gift and has shared it with the world. He knows from whence it came and he shares it with love.
Many of my ancestors were musicians. The ones I remember were my Grandmother and Grandfather on my dad's side. Grandma played the guitar, mandolin and harmonica, while Grandpa played the fiddle and guitar. They played for many open-air dances in their younger years. Grandma's dad and grand-dad played in local bands.
I have other children who have been blessed with the gift of music. Some sing, some play musical instruments, and some just appreciate listening. That gift has also been passed on to some of my grand-children. Oh what a great gift it is.
From my pioneer heritage to my gifted children and grandchildren, music has been one of the common threads that bind us. It is the universal language that every soul on God's earth can understand. I picture the Heavenly choirs that will usher us home and music will be the final voice that will live through the eternities.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Lost, But Not Alone...
JULIE
Chapter One
I met Jacob in the spring of 2009. He was sitting on a curb, hugging himself, rocking back and forth and crying. He was dressed in dirty, ragged jeans, an old sweatshirt and a thin jacket that looked to be two sizes too big and barely adequate to keep out the spring chill. His face was dirty and he wore a few days growth of peach fuzz on his chin. I guessed his age to be maybe 17 or 18 and a long way from home.
I don't usually pay much attention to these lost, homeless street urchins. My usual action is to just pass them by and mutter something like poor soul to myself. But this young boy was different. I had a strange feeling that I needed to stop. I looked at him with a strong feeling of compassion, took a few steps to the curb and sat down beside him.
"Hi, my name is Julie," I said. I felt a little strange, but thought that might be a good opener.
Nothing! Silence!
All he could do was continue as before, rocking and sobbing. His head was bowed down with his chin nearly touching his chest. My heart was breaking. I wanted to put my arms around him and hug him tight, but I resisted.
"I just noticed you sitting here and you looked cold and maybe hungry. Are you hungry?" I tried again to get a response.
Still he was silent. I decided to look away and give him some time. I sat there with him, keeping my thoughts to myself, and wondered if maybe I was wasting my time. The moments ticked by slowly. Who was this boy? Where did he come from? What was his story? Everyone has a story. Even I have a story.
After several minutes, he spoke. "Jacob. My name is Jacob."
I looked at him and smiled. "Well, Jacob, are you hungry? There's a little diner around the corner. I'd be happy to buy you something to eat. I'm pretty hungry myself," I offered.
Again, he was silent. However, this time I could feel something in the silence. It was speaking volumes of loneliness to me and I knew I could not just give up and abandon this boy.
"Why would you offer to feed a total stranger?" he asked. "I'm just a worthless piece of trash waiting for the garbage truck to pick me up and deposit me in the dump." His depression was thick as syrup and finally had a voice. My heart responded, and I continued to reach out.
"Let's just say I don't see garbage sitting here. I see a young boy who has probably lost his way and could use a friend to help him find it."
Another long silence--punctuated by less rocking. I asked myself, what is it with this boy? I could feel his thoughts. Is that possible? He wasn't crying any more. This boy is a processor, I decided. He just needs time. And so I sat there on the curb giving him all the time he needed.
With both of us deep in thought, I began to reflect on how many kids I've seen on the streets lately. They just seem to be multiplying, as though it is a whole new culture springing up. I don't know, maybe this kid isn't one of them. Maybe he's just dirty because he chooses to be and just had a major blow-out with his dad. I do know though, that right now something made me stop and this poor soul is hungry. The one obvious thing here and now is that here is a kid who feels worthless. No child should feel worthless.
My thoughts then turned to something that my good friend, Kate said to me the other day. She was all upset about her sister's 15-year-old son who had just up and walked out the front door and hasn't been heard from since. I wondered if I felt impressed to stop because of that.
The word Prodigal came to mind, as I recalled the parable as recorded in Luke, Chapter 15. I tried comparing today's runaway children with the son who took all the riches his father bestowed upon him and went out into the world. He was extravagant and wasted all he was given and in the end was penniless and destitute.
Unlike the repentant son of the parable, today's prodigals don't leave their homes with riches to squander. The only riches they have are their future potentials. Today's prodigals squander their potential by making their homes under bridges, on our city streets or hidden away in desolate places far from home. They leave home for a variety of reasons. Perhaps the number one reason is abuse, either physical or emotional from one parent or both or even some other family member. Or they leave because they feel misunderstood, misjudged or neglected. Their self-worth, as this young boys', is in the basement.
More and more kids are leaving home because of peer pressure, getting involved with drugs or alcohol, or problems including failure at school. Whatever the reason, the numbers are astounding. I read an article in Kids Health that there are somewhere between "one million and three million runaway and homeless kids living on the streets in the United States." That number is astounding to me.
"Ma'am? Julie?" Jacob's voice broke through my thoughts, and I turned to face him.
"Uh, yes, what is it Jacob?"
"I think I would like something to eat, if you're still offering." He barely spoke above a whisper, but I was delighted to hear his words.
"Of course I am. Let's get up from here and go find you and me a meal." It would be good to get off this curb and in a standing position again. My backside was beginning to feel numb.
We stood and walked to the end of the block, turned left and walked another half block or so to Alice's Place, a local diner that served pretty good food.
"You like hamburgers?" I asked.
"Yeah," was his one-word reply.
"Alice probably makes the best hamburger on the planet," I said, as I held open the door and we went inside.
We sat in a booth, facing each other. The waitress took our orders and I turned back to Jacob.
"Where are you from, Jacob?" I asked.
He didn't answer my question, but responded with a question of his own.
"Why did you stop to talk to me? No one does that."
I thought a minute before I replied. "I'm not sure, really. I just saw you sitting there and something inside me nudged me to stop. Are you sorry that I did?"
"No, I was just wondering," he said. For the first time, he raised his eyes to look at me and I could feel him struggling to find words. "Do you know what I was thinking when you stopped? I was trying to think of some way to kill myself. And then I started thinking about my mom. That's when I started losing it...and then you stopped. Are you an angel?"
I had to smile at that observation. "No, Jacob, I'm not an angel, but sometimes God sends people to act as angels for Him. Maybe He sent me, I don't know."
The waitress brought our burgers and Jacob attacked his ravenously. I wondered when was the last time this kid had anything to eat.
I asked him again where he was from. I still didn't get a reply, but the tension that clouded his face, his downcast eyes, and his clenched jaw told me I better not push it right now. I decided to change the subject.
"I'm pretty new to this area. My daughter and I moved here from California," I told him. "We had to leave a lot of memories behind. I was pretty lucky because I found a job right away."
It was pretty much a one sided conversation for several minutes, me offering bits and pieces of my life, and Jacob consuming his hamburger, fries and Coke. When he finished, he looked around and started to get up.
"Would you like anything else? A milk shake? A piece of pie?" I didn't want him to just leave. I had so many questions and hadn't found the right way to break through yet.
"No, I really should be going," he quietly informed me.
I really didn't feel like I could push him anymore. "Is there anything you need, Jacob?"
"No, I'll be fine," he said.
"Not even a place to sleep?" I asked.
"No. You've done enough already. I really don't know what to say. No one has ever been this nice to me. I won't forget it." Now he was standing.
I scooted out of the booth and stood next to him. I reached in my purse and pulled out a $20 bill and one of my business cards. I reached for his hand and put the money and my card in it and wrapped his fingers around them. "Take this, Jacob. And if ever you change your mind, call me. My cell number is probably the best one to reach me."
He didn't say anything, just looked down at his hand, shoved its contents into his pocket and looked at me. Then he turned and walked toward the door. When he reached it, he turned around and said, "Thank you."
That was it. He went through the door and walked down the street, out of sight. I wanted to cry. My heart felt like it had just been ripped to shreds.
I picked up the check and walked to the cashier to pay.
"Where did you find that riff-raff?" the cashier asked me.
I looked her straight in the eye and said, "That young boy is no different than you or me. He's just been dealt a different playing hand and right now he doesn't have a clue what to do with the cards he's holding. He's lost, alone and just needed a friend, a meal and maybe a small helping hand."
She took my money and just shook her head.
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